Why are you here?

I mean like, here, right now, reading this blog?

You’re reading this for a reason, probably because you’re trying to do something good for your financial well-being.

Part of why I’m here is to help point out the obstacles in your way. There are so many ways to build wealth, but if you don’t clear out the obstacles first, it can feel like swimming upstream. 

I’ve talked to literally THOUSANDS of women working on their money journeys, so I know what keeps us stuck and how to get moving again—I’ve also learned through my own personal experience.

So let’s dive into the 10 things sabotaging your money.

1. Systems built on inequality.

   Let’s address this one right off the top—there are forces beyond your control that definitely affect your money. From pay gaps to general inequality, these influences absolutely sabotage your money.
   
   Can you take action to change these? Yes. Will any of these systems change overnight? Not a chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat this one, but we do have to acknowledge these forces while working to dismantle them.
   

2. You don’t have a plan.

   POV: you don’t even want to LOOK at your finances…
   I hate to have to say it, but nothing changes unless you change it. That means having at least one goal and taking steps toward it. These steps can be small! But to be financially whole, you have to act on your own behalf.

   Not sure where to start? Here are some broad areas of personal finance (with links to some top resources) that can help get you going.

   1. • Investing
      • Building/improving credit
      • Negotiation
      • Side hustles
      • Debt payoff
      • Budgeting
      • Homeownership

3. You’re not negotiating… at work AND in life.

   Every time you avoid negotiating, you lose not only the money you could be earning temporarily with your salary but also your earning potential for the rest of your life. And never forget, companies expect you to negotiate!

   In addition, there are other things we can negotiate. From bills to the interest rate on your debt to getting a better hotel room for a work trip. Here’s more on workplace benefits to negotiate for your next role.

4. You’re letting the opinions of others dictate your choices.

   Whether that’s family, friends, or just keeping up with what you see on Instagram, living your life for others will keep you unhappy. You have to value your opinion more than anyone else’s.

   This could show up in your money life by feeling pressure to buy a house before you’re ready or to spend more lavishly than you’re comfortable with.

   So if others’ judgment about your life is keeping you from building the life that you love or you’re so focused on trying to chase somebody else’s life instead of figuring out what that looks like for you, I encourage you to dig into that.

5. You’re looking for someone to do it for you.

   It could be a partner or a financial advisor, but deep down, you want someone to just tell you what to do. We believe we need this because we’ve been actively told that money is intimidating and scary.

   Here’s the not-so-secret secret: you can do it yourself. Saving for retirement? Yes. Getting out of debt? Yup. Investing? Duh.

   Of course, you’ll still need help along the way, and you might actively choose to have someone handle some areas of your financial life (money to pay for my accountant is well-spent). But don’t buy into the idea that you can’t do it.

   Side note: if you want to learn how to invest, Stock Market School is the perfect mix of education and support!

6. You’re not using your community or building one around you.
   

   Money is a notoriously taboo subject. But what does that get us? It keeps us paid less, overworked, and confused. You can lead the way by sharing more yourself–you might be surprised by how much others will share once you start!

   I know that community can feel like a big ask, but I promise you can find or build one! Check out the HFK Facebook group for starters. 

7. You’re taking an ‘all or nothing’ mindset.

   You think you have to pay off debt OR invest. Spend without a care OR save every penny. Hit every goal every day OR feel like it’s not worth trying.

   That’s not how life works!! You don’t have to be perfect or commit 100% of every dollar to your next goal–you’re allowed to live life like a real person.

8. You don’t know what you have.
   

   I also call this the Ostrich Effect: you want to keep your head in the sand.

   If you do, you’re not alone! But you can’t improve your money life without knowing what you have. It’s like putting in a destination without having a starting point. Even just logging in and knowing your numbers is a start.

   If you’re looking for a tool to help, let me suggest this free money dashboard!

9. Your goals are either too sticky or not sticky enough.

   By sticky, I mean that your goals challenge you without deprivation.

   I’ve mentioned goals here a couple of times. Why? Because they’re that important.

   If something is way too hard, you’ll probably quit before you get very far. And if something is too easy, you might not see enough value from the results. You need to find that happy medium with your money goals.

   Your goals don’t need to be formal or mapped out on a spreadsheet or even all that ambitious. You just need to know what you’re working for. My advice is to start with your money date and see where you want to go from there.

10. You act like money is a sign of morality.

    Who didn’t grow up believing that saving is a good thing??

    Here’s the thing: having a lot of money doesn’t make you a good person OR a bad one! There are plenty of people out there with money who are doing fantastic things in the world, and there are plenty of people out there who have a lot of money and who are Bond villains.

    At the end of the day, when women and other marginalized groups have money, we get to change the world to be a more equitable, joyful, and safe place.

Ok, so that was a lot! 

If you feel like I just read you, then sit with that for a bit and dive deeper into why. 

Maybe you realize you really don’t have any goals or you do kinda want someone to figure things out for you. That’s ok! We’re identifying what might hold us back and finding ways to move forward.