Money dates are a cornerstone of personal finance, but you might be thinking, what do you actually DO during one? And how exactly will sitting down with your money help you improve anything?

I’m going to explain what a money date is and why you need one. 

What exactly is a money date?

A money date is a recurring dedicated time to review your finances and make plans for the future. This can be with or without a partner, and while you can pick a cadence that works well for you, I recommend starting with a monthly review. 

Money dates are about looking at your numbers, taking out the guesswork, and getting real about your financial situation. 

BIG NOTE: Money dates don’t have to be super formal. In fact, I recommend that you design them to be specifically enjoyable, too. 

That could mean splitting a bottle of wine with your partner while you talk about money or grabbing your favorite salad on the night you do one solo. Don’t pick mornings if you’re a night owl or expect to do it the day after you go out with friends.

And while there is an aspect of accountability here, there is no shame. Money dates are not about making you feel bad about money. If you dread it, you won’t do it. So make sure you set the scene well from the start!

Why are money dates so important? 

I actually find having a money date reduces my money stress since I know I have dedicated time set aside for these kinds of money tasks. If you’re afraid of forgetting things, keep a notes doc or agenda for yourself so you remember what you want to do when the time comes.

You might also have some broader intentions for the month such as “spend less on eating out” or “save less, invest more.” Write these down!

It helps to take notes as you do your spending and goal reviews. You don’t need anything fancy—it can be as simple as highlighting purchases you didn’t love. 

Money dates deconstructed—a 3-step plan

1. Look at your spending

First things first, you need to know where your money is currently going!

You might have an “idea” of where your money is going now, but you need specifics. It’s hard to keep track of your spending as you go, so instead of guesses, get real answers.

This means pulling up your transaction history, budgeting tool, and any other data you have on where you spend your money. 

Here are a few things to look for:

• Patterns. Do you spend more with certain retailers? When you’re with that one group of friends? On specific days or during different seasons?
• Purchases you forgot. Think of that dress you thought you HAD to have, the last round of drinks that didn’t matter, or those tickets you didn’t end up using.
• Recurring expenses. Maybe you forgot you did a free trial–and now you’re paying the monthly fee. Or you somehow hit “autoship” on your last skincare purchase.
• Fraud/inaccuracies. This can include double charges, missed refunds, or anything else that seems “off.” 

Beyond getting clarity on your spending habits, use this time to reflect on how your spending makes you feel. Are there things you regret buying? Does your budget align with how you say you want to spend your money? 

Don’t judge yourself here–just notice. 

2. Review your goal progress

Your goals should be unique to you and reflect the life you want to build. Remember, money is a tool to help you.

• If your goals aren’t already measurable, this is the time to adjust them. Connect your more abstract intentions with smaller, concrete goals. 
• If you want to travel more, set a goal to set X amount of money aside in a dedicated high-yield savings account.
• If you want to become debt-free, pick a debt milestone that’s attainable.
• If you want to start your own business, decide how much money you need to be able to quit your job. 

Once you’re clear on what you’re working toward, review your progress. Are you tracking ahead or behind? If you’re ahead, do you want to keep your foot on the gas or give yourself some breathing room? If you’re behind, is there anything you can do to catch up? 

You may decide to adjust your goals, and that’s totally up to you. Life happens, and it’s NOT worth stressing about if you only saved $300 for your trip when you meant to hit $500.

That said, this is the time for accountability. Be honest with yourself. If you’re not hitting your goals and don’t have a reason for it, try to reconnect with your why. Saving that $500 is less about hitting the goal and more about bringing your dream trip to life. 

3. Create a plan for next month (and take action!)

You want to leave your money dates knowing exactly what you want to do with your money in the next month. 

This includes concrete tasks like:

• Increase retirement savings percentage
• Open a high-yield savings account
• Automate investments 
• Pay off high-interest credit card
• Make one additional student loan payment

And yes, use your money date time to cross some of these things off your list! While some tasks might require more research, knock out what you can immediately. 

Keep the money dates going

Your final task is to set a date and time for your next money date. I like to do these on Sunday nights, but you should pick whatever makes sense for you. 

And—remember—try to pair your money dates with something fun or comforting. This might mean cozying up with a cup of tea or playing your favorite album. Pairing money dates with good experiences is positive reinforcement and will make you want to do it more!

Of course, no two money dates are alike, and there’s no right or wrong way to do this. The most important thing is that you’re doing it.