“Everything that I’ve ever done and ever achieved came through community, so if I have an abundance, I feel it’s my duty to share it. There’s just nothing in me that feels okay with me having and my family does not.”
In this episode, host Tori Dunlap engages in a candid conversation with X Mayo, comedian, writer, producer, actress and podcast host who, after having landed in NYC 10 years ago with just 80 dollars and a suitcase, has now gone on to become an Emmy-nominated writer for The Daily Show With Trevor Noah. Tune in to hear her unique story, as she dishes on everything from unlearning early belief systems about money and finances, to learning the true value of community.
Breaking Taboos
“We’re more likely to talk about any other uncomfortable taboo topic as individuals but also as a collective society before we’ll talk about money.”
Tori and X dive into the societal conditioning that discourages women in particular, from having open conversations about money. Tori notes the historical narrative that keeps women from discussing finances — potentially contributing to their being underpaid and overworked. X passionately emphasizes the need to challenge these norms. “It’s crazy how women, we literally talk about the ins and outs of the walls of our uterus being pulled once a month and blood and period stains, but when it comes down to money, it’s like, “oh, no, no, no, no, no. We don’t want to rock the boat.”
She talks about the need to break that cycle, and how she has already started to do so with the women in her circle.
Celebrating Milestones
The conversation takes an insightful turn as Tori and X discuss societal celebrations for women, primarily revolving around relationships, marriages, and pregnancies. Tori notes, “that’s a whole other conversation about what we celebrate for women. What do we celebrate statistically for women? Anything related to a partner.”
X challenges these norms, stressing that having a partner is not an accomplishment. She advocates for celebrating diverse achievements, whether personal growth, professional success, or overcoming challenges. “One of my best friends of 20 years, I’m so proud of her for being sober, I think she’s on her third year now, when she made it to her first or second year I was like, “We’re going to fucking London. We’re going to Europe. We’re celebrating. If you set a new boundary, if you are no longer accepting things that don’t serve you anymore, you started therapy, we got to get a cupcake. I’m definitely that friend.”
Building an Authentic Life
“I know time is limited. I’m always thinking about death. And not in a gruesome way, but in a way that’s like, ‘I’m going to fucking live.'”
X shares a personal insight into her life, revealing how experiences of loss have fueled her determination to live authentically. She reflects on her journey to independence, and if you didn’t know who she was before this interview, you’ll never forget after being inspired by her long list of accomplishments that reads like this:
- landed her first professional comedy writing job as a staff writer on The Daily Show in 2018
- co-starred in the film The Blackening
- is a main cast member on the NBC series American Auto
- created the sketch comedy show, “Who Made the Potato Salad,” that has sold out every show since its inception in 2017
- she had a Meghan Markle Daily Show joke that went viral
- has earned an Emmy nomination
Of all of these, X claims her sketch comedy show, “Who Made the Potato Salad” as her baby. She’s stated not wanting to put her fate into someone else’s hands as the reason she decided to create it. In the entertainment business, having access to the right people and making connections can make or break a person’s career. X understood this and made it a goal to use her show to provide access to other black and brown people. “It’s opening up a larger conversation but also providing access. Black people need money. We need community. We need connection. When it comes to Black people specifically in entertainment, we don’t have access. So for me, I know where I come from and I come from the bottom. That’s what I’m looking for, and I know too many people that look like me that need that as well.”
Community Currency
Tori shifts the focus by asking what’s next and what she’s looking forward to learning. X expresses excitement about continuing to explore topics like relationships, money, financial abuse, and building legacies. “I’ve talked to so many amazing people that I think at the root of it have always depended on their community. We say that a lot on The Dough, it’s what we believe and it’s what I believe, that community is currency.”
The interview wraps up with X emphasizing the power of community, highlighting how she has built her life with the support of her community while creating content that resonates with her authentic self.
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Meet X Mayo
Hailing from South Central/Inglewood, CA, X is an actor, writer, producer, comedian, and taco expert. Landing in NYC in 2013 with just 80 dollars and a suitcase, X has survived over 24 moves to now become an Emmy nominated writer for The Daily Show With Trevor Noah. X is very passionate about representation in entertainment and is adamant about presenting solutions for her community. X is the creator and host of Who Made The Potato Salad?, a comedy show/party made in 24 hours that only stars black people and people of color. You can catch X in the second season of Yearly Departed and in the hit NBC sitcom, American Auto.
Transcript:
X Mayo:
In my mind, “It takes a village,” came from a Black woman because it truly is that. When I had my quinceanera, all my tias and my tios came together like, “You pay for this part of the dress. You pay for the cake. You pay for the hall. You get the napkins.” Everything that I’ve ever done and ever achieved came through community, so if I have an abundance, I feel it’s my duty to share it. And I still feel that way, right? There’s just nothing in me that feels okay with me having and my family does not. I would never be okay with that.
Tori Dunlap:
Hello, hello, Financial Feminist. Welcome back to the show. If you’re an oldie but a goodie, welcome back. If you’re new, hi, my name is Tori. I’m a money expert and New York Times bestselling author and multimillionaire, and I fight the patriarchy by making you rich. On this show, we talk about the ways that money affects women differently, but also how to get more of it, save more of it, and be a more mindful spender in order to fight the patriarchy by getting rich.
Today’s guest, such a fun interview, such a fun episode. We are so pumped to have X on the show. Hailing from South Central/Inglewood, California, X is an actor, writer, producer, comedian, and taco expert. Landing in New York City in 2013 with just $80 and a suitcase, X has survived over 24 moves to now become an Emmy-nominated writer for the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. X is passionate about representation in entertainment, and Lord does she back that up, and is adamant about presenting solutions for her community. X is the creator and host of Who Made The Potato Salad?, a comedy show/party made in 24 hours that only stars Black people and people of color. You can catch X in the second season of Yearly Departed and the hit NBC sitcom American Auto. You can also catch her, and she couldn’t say it at the time because when we recorded this we were still on strike, but please go watch her in Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain now out on Peacock. It is the SNL guys over at Please Don’t Destroy, their first feature film, and she’s in it. Go watch it on Peacock. I can say that now that the strike’s over.
Okay, this is such a great overall conversation about so many topics like the influence of our first money memories, navigating cultural belief systems around money, setting financial boundaries, representation of Black and POC people in media, systemic oppression, and the value of learning as you go even when things aren’t working out the way you hoped. One of the things that is really exciting about X’s journey as well is that she now hosts her own money show called The Dough, and so we talked about her coming into this space as a non-personal finance expert, what she’s learned in her own personal finance journey, but also what she’s hoping to teach others. Truly one of the most fun episodes. It’s just a good time and lots of different learnings. We always struggle with how we’re going to title these kind of episodes because there’s so many different things that are so valuable and you can’t really just sum them up in one six-word title. So I just hope you enjoy it. All right, let’s get into it.
But first, a word from our sponsors.
X Mayo:
Wait, are we recording?
Tori Dunlap:
We are.
X Mayo:
Oh, I thought you said we were going to talk and then get into it, so I thought you were like-
Tori Dunlap:
No, we are talking.
X Mayo:
… prepping or practicing. I was like, “Oh, okay.” So now I was like, “Wait, are we… ?” This is the podcast, okay.
Tori Dunlap:
It’s the podcast.
X Mayo:
You would think that I’ve hosted one of these things.
Tori Dunlap:
No, you’re great.
X Mayo:
Yes.
Tori Dunlap:
I apologize if I didn’t warn you properly.
X Mayo:
No, I think I’m an idiot. I think you said it and I just thought there was going to be… I’m used to talking to comedians and there’s so much banter and bits before, so I was like, “Oh, we’re just talking and shooting the shit.” But you’re a true professional, so okay.
Tori Dunlap:
No, I’m happy to shoot the shit with you, but I don’t think you knew that we were shooting the shit, and so I was like, “Okay, she must be [inaudible 00:04:10]-
X Mayo:
I was like, “People are still putting in plugs. They’re still turning on lights. We’re waiting for a record.” But we’re recording, okay, great. Okay, so we’re in the podcast, the podcast has started. Yes.
Tori Dunlap:
The podcast has started. Welcome, we’re so excited to have you.
X Mayo:
Yes, I’m welcomed. Yes.
Tori Dunlap:
We love asking people first money memory, what is the first time you remember thinking about money?
X Mayo:
It’s not really anything exciting. I would say it was tithes for church, like you pay 10%. I’m born and raised in church, so that was the thing, always asking my mom every Sunday, “I need a dollar for offering.” I wanted to touch it. I wanted a cash dollar, I didn’t want change. For some reason for me it felt like less than. It’s like, “No, I want to put a dollar in the offering plate.” When I would walk around for offering, I’d be so excited for my dollar. I realized when I got to that level when I was in my early 20s and now the younger kids, the youth were just like, “I don’t have a dollar for offering,” so I would just give them their dollar. So it’s funny how you recognize as you’re getting older, you’re like, “Wow, I’m at that age now where the kids are asking me for a dollar.” So yeah, I would say that’s my first money memory.
Tori Dunlap:
I remember for me, because I grew up Catholic, it was always I wanted to put the money in the thing. My parents’ money even, they would always write a check and it would go in the envelope, and then I wanted to be the person to put it in the basket.
X Mayo:
Yeah, there was such a big thing that came with that. It was like, “Yes, I’m doing it.” There was such a status in our little children’s minds about putting the money in the collection plate, for sure.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. I love asking that question, we talk about it in my book, because it’s one of the things that you can start drawing conclusions from about how you were raised around money. Do you feel like that focus on tithing or community has been reflective in your own money journey now?
X Mayo:
Oh my God, yes, for better and for worse. I think I’ve depended on my community to help me as I was hustling and broke as fuck in New York. And then also I would say for the worst in the sense that I had to implement a business manager because I was paying too many people’s bills and people that were able-bodied and able to do it on their own and just were looking to me to do that. I have a lot of substance abuse in my family, so in my little brain, when I first started making money, I was like, “Okay, well, maybe this person wouldn’t use this drug or be addicted to this liquor if they had money.” My business manager was like, “No, you actually are giving them more money to do those things because now they’re like, ‘I don’t have to pay rent. Fuck, I can drink all day.'”
Tori Dunlap:
You’re an enabler and you didn’t mean to.
X Mayo:
Yes, no. I was just like, “I just don’t want my auntie on that shit.” And so yeah, community is definitely my base reality about how I learned money and learned about money. Because I learned about it within the church, which is a huge part of my foundation and is built on being communal and fellowship and dwelling together in brotherhood and sisterhood.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. You kind of alluded to this already, do you feel like that held you back from protecting your own money? Because one of the things I see, I work largely with women, and if you’re a member of a minority group, I think one of the things that happens is you feel like, “I need to take care of the community around me. I need to take care of the family-
X Mayo:
Absolutely.
Tori Dunlap:
“… around me, my people. I need to make sure everybody’s good. And then if there’s anything left over, then I’ll take care of myself.”
X Mayo:
Absolutely.
Tori Dunlap:
But of course, what ends up happening there is that you are so deprived, you are not taking care of yourself that you can’t… I mean, it’s the classic you can’t pour from an empty cup, but it seems that that is often how we end up doing it, is we put everybody’s needs before our own and then we’re fucked.
X Mayo:
No, I definitely did that. I definitely felt victim to that in my ignorance. Just coming from a community like being Black and Mexican and coming from a Black and brown neighborhood, it’s like we don’t have shit, and it’s systemically set up that way. I truly believe, I don’t know where this came from, but in my mind, “It takes a village,” came from a Black woman because it truly is that. When I had my quinceanera, all my tias and my tios came together like, “You pay for this part of the dress. You pay for the cake. You pay for the hall. You get the napkins.” Everything that I’ve ever done and ever achieved came through community. My church came through for me for prom like, “You do her makeup. You get her nails done.” Everyone comes together. So if I have an abundance, I feel it’s my duty to share it, and I still feel that way.
But now that I have a business manager and I have more knowledge about money, I know that there’s a specific way in which to delegate it, there’s a way to do that, there’s boundaries around it. There’s just nothing in me that feels okay with me having and my family does not. I would never be okay with that. I feel like the ones who are willing to work with me and work with me in a way that’s efficient… Because some of my family members unfortunately I can’t work with them in a professional sense, in a business sense because of different ways in which they move through the world and just ways that are just not aligned with me. I love them, but we just can’t work that way. But the ones who can, I want to bring them up as much as I can, of course.
Tori Dunlap:
It becomes that responsibility of, “I have done something ,and I’m going to pull the rest of you up with me.”
X Mayo:
I’m going to help those who are helping themselves. I’m going to help the ones who-
Tori Dunlap:
Totally.
X Mayo:
… are grinding, who are hustling, who are hungry, who want to be a part of the entertainment industry, my moms, my aunts. If you think for one second that if I host the Oscars my mom’s not going to be a rider, you’re out of your fucking mind, you know?
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah.
X Mayo:
Everybody needs to eat. I want everybody to eat for sure.
Tori Dunlap:
Totally. One of the things that was just so interesting about your story that I would love for you to talk about is that you moved to New York with 80 bucks, and then a job just ended up ghosting you as soon as you arrived, but you made it work and you built a career there. Talk to me about those first several years of building a career and trying to navigate life.
X Mayo:
Well, that’s not what happened.
Tori Dunlap:
Oh, talk to me.
X Mayo:
I went to New York on vacation. I went to New York on vacation and a job fell through. I went there to work Fashion Week, ended up being so enthralled by the city, fell in love again because I went to New York at 18 to audition for Alvin Ailey because I was a dancer first. I didn’t get in, but I fell in love with the city, but I just knew I was not ready for New York at 18. So when I went back at 26, the job fell through, but I still hustled my ass off and I was able to dress the models. I couldn’t do makeup for the models. It was during that whole experience of working fashion week that I was like, “Okay, I have to stay in New York.” When I decided to stay in New York, so there was no move to New York, there was no bags packed, there wasn’t a plan, there wasn’t a sendoff, there wasn’t like, “X is moving, let’s have a going away party.”
Tori Dunlap:
Got it.
X Mayo:
No, I went there on vacation, decided to stay. And when I decided to stay, all I had was $80.
Tori Dunlap:
What was that? Talk to me about that experience.
X Mayo:
Yeah, so the thing was everybody I talked to was broke, Tori. Everyone was broke. Everybody was like, “I came here with $10,000 and then I had none in three months.” People was like, “I had $30,000.” People were like, “I came here with 15.” People said, “I had 1,000.” Everybody was just like, “I’m broke.” I was meeting other people who were dressing the models alongside of me, and they were fucking professors at NYU, and they also bartend at night. They’re like, “This is how you do New York. It’s fucking expensive, and this is what it is.” So I was like, “Oh, everybody’s broke. Me too. Okay, so if y’all doing it, why the fuck can’t I do it?”
But I’m a hustler and I’m a master networker and connector. There’s not many things that I do really well, but that’s one of the few things that I’m like, “I can do that in my sleep. I do it without even thinking. I don’t even notice that I’m doing it, and it’s just in me to do it.” And so I stayed at a friend’s house, so I had a few connects there, and once that situation no longer worked out because his mom just was being fucking weird about shit and I was just like, “Okay, I got to go,” I heard about subletting. And then I was like, “What the fuck is that?” So it was the original Airbnb. And so living in LA and predominantly living in homes, I was like, “What the fuck you mean they don’t know me and they’ll let me rent a room? I could be a murderer.” They were like, “Everybody does this in New York. So if you’re a murderer, then they’ll know and they say, ‘Please stop murdering people, and can you have your rent paid on the first?'” That’s what they’ll do if you’re a murderer.
I was just like, “Okay, but everybody’s breakdown on Craigslist, Tori, was like, “First last security. What’s your Social Security? What’s your job making five to six figures a year?” I was like, “To rent a room this is the criteria? What the fuck is this?” So then I was like, “You know what? I need somebody’s breakdown that is talking to me. They need something and I need something. They need somebody in there to pay rent, and I need a place to stay.” So I found one and somebody was like, “Listen.” That was the first word on the Craigslist ad, “Listen.” She was like, “Don’t be eating my food.” She was like, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” Don’t be coming up in here and be loud.” And I said, “Okay, this [inaudible 00:13:40]. Okay. Right, right, right. You need something. I need something.”
I went over there to her, and when I went over there, that’s when I knew I was not in Kansas anymore because, mind you, I went there to work Fashion Week September 2013. They have what’s called seasons in New York. I’m from Los Angeles, so I don’t know what that means. So it started to rain profusely. I had a very cheap suitcase, and it busted at Penn Station in the rain, and everyone had an attitude with me, okay?
Tori Dunlap:
Not Penn Station.
X Mayo:
My suitcase broke in the rain and you have an attitude. When I saw police officers walk over my fucking clothes in the rain like, “Ugh, the fuck is this,” I was like, everyone is evil. I was like, “They’re so mean here.” I was like, “I am not in Kansas anymore.” When I got to the lady’s home, I either gave her my password or my ID. I gave her one of my forms of identification. I grew up in a family of hustlers, of dope dealers, and one thing they always said is, “Be honest. Never lie. Don’t ever, ever lie. People can always fuck with someone who’s honest.” So I told her, I was like, “Hey, I don’t have a job.” I think my mama sent me an extra $100, so I had 180, maybe $200 to give her.” I said, “Hey, this is all I have. I don’t have a job. If I don’t get a job by Friday, you can kick me out, you can keep the money. And you have my identification, so you got me.” She was like, “Okay.”
I got a job that Thursday. I was making $8 an hour at this place called Unique, which is now shut down. It was on Jay Street and Fulton in Downtown Brooklyn. And so that’s how I first started making money. I was in Jersey City, I wasn’t even in the city yet. So I was paying for Jersey Transit and then paying for New York Transit. And then at this time, I had came back to acting. I had quit for the third time and finally came back to it again. But I had went to a film school and I had started working with cameras and stuff, so I said, “I need to do anything within production. I need to get on a fucking set.” So I started interning at RACSC Camera Rental House, which was in Secaucus, New Jersey. But to pay for Jersey Transit, I would not be able to pay for New York Transit to get into the city and make actual money.
What I ended up having to do was, Tori, I had to walk an hour to Secaucus and an hour back in the fucking snow so that I can have my internship and I can keep my little $1.25 and pay the toll to get into Brooklyn. And then I made friends and they lived in Brooklyn, so therefore, when I was working at Unique on the weekends, Friday to Sunday, I would stay in Brooklyn. And then it was just one stop away. Or if I needed to, if I could hustle, I could walk 45 minutes. That was closer than Jersey City. And then shout-out to my homegirl Malia because what we would do is that I would sleep on the actual wooden floor in the wintertime in her room, and we would alternate the space heater every three hours so that we have heat.
Tori Dunlap:
Holy shit. When you said you were a hustler, I’m like, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh,” and then you’re like, “Masterclass, there you go.”
X Mayo:
No, bitch. They were giving me granola bars and tuna, God bless those women, Fumi, Titi, who’s now married, beautiful doctor and is having a child now, those women, they held me down for a minute for sure. But I was determined. Because I was a hustler, I was like, “I’m giving Unique two months.” I was fostering relationships, talking to people. Because in a thrift store, it’s not just lower status or lower paid people, there were costume designers, there were different people that worked in fashion all coming in there, grabbing pieces. Because Unique is shut down, but Unique was a true thrift store, and they did not know the gems they had. There was a Chanel ski-suit for 60 bucks. It was good, good shit, really, really good stuff. It was more so vintage rather than thrift. It was a lot of vintage quality finds.
I just kept fostering relationships with people and finally got out and got to Rebar, where I started making a cute coin. It was a restaurant/bar. It was before Alamo Drafthouse. It was the first movie theater in New York City that was licensed to sell liquor. So it was movie theater, wedding venue, bar, restaurant.
Tori Dunlap:
Shit, fucking impressive, my God.
X Mayo:
No, yeah, I was a hustler. I realize that it’s crazy. Now if somebody told me that they did this, I’m like, “Okay, she’s a little loony toon.” But for me, when you’re in the thick of it, and because I’m a believer and I knew what God told me to do, I had this life-altering experience when I went to go see Motown the Musical which encouraged me to stay. The director, I was talking to him on stage, and he was like, “You have a responsibility to live your dream, and you have to do it now.” So to tell me I had to be accountable, and he had such a sense of urgency, I was like, “Oh, no, fuck that, I’m doing it now.”
I was 26. The man I thought I was going to marry, I broke up with him two years prior, and I had no kids. I’ve always kept my overhead low. I’ve never been someone that wanted to live above my means. When I had jobs, when I worked at TSA and I was making great money, I was like, “Well, if I get a nicer car, if I get an apartment, I have to keep fucking working at TSA. This is not my life.” So I’ve never done that. I never wanted that. I always lived beneath my means, had a cute little bucket, take it to my tio, Poncho, have him hook up the fucking engine and keep it moving. So that was it, I hustled my ass off…
Tori Dunlap:
We have to take a quick-
X Mayo:
… for a very long time.
Tori Dunlap:
… tangent with TSA. Weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in somebody’s bag?
X Mayo:
Okay, wait, what’s the tangent, Tori?
Tori Dunlap:
The TSA tangent, give it to me. Weirdest thing. You’re talking TSA airport, TSA, is that what you’re saying?
X Mayo:
Yeah, of course. Yeah, at LAX, girl.
Tori Dunlap:
Okay. But I just got to know, weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in somebody’s bag?
X Mayo:
Okay. I don’t want to sex shame, okay?
Tori Dunlap:
Uh-huh. Oh, uh-huh.
X Mayo:
But there was a specific flight at Southwest that was going to Vegas. And it was oftentimes, as my grandmother would say, women of the night. The way that they were dressed let me know that, and they would have the most obscene sizes of dildos and lube. A part of me was like, “It’s not just taking a dildo from someone or a lube, it’s like taking paint from a painter. This is what they use for their job, okay?-
Tori Dunlap:
It’s oil paint-
X Mayo:
“You can’t do that, X.”
Tori Dunlap:
… for Michelangelo.
X Mayo:
It’s the set. Andy Warhol and these women, same fucking levels, and what they both do is art.
Tori Dunlap:
Yes.
X Mayo:
Okay? I was like, “Okay, a part of me… ” And then I knew that they were not in the safest situations. These were not women that had autonomy over their own bodies because they were like, “Daddy’s going to be mad.” They were referring to daddy. I grew up with pimps in my family, so I knew what exactly the they was talking about, so I said, “I don’t want any issues for you.” So I said, “Let me just test it for explosives. Girl, just don’t use it.”
Tori Dunlap:
It’s explosive, just a different kind.
X Mayo:
100%. That they get paid to do. I would say that was the most like, “Whoa, okay, what do I do here?” Yeah, that was probably the most wildest thing I’ve seen.
Tori Dunlap:
I just had to ask. I was like, “I imagine you’ve seen some shit.”
X Mayo:
Yes, Ms. Tori.
Tori Dunlap:
And I love it’s not a dildo, it’s the most obscene size of your entire existence.
X Mayo:
No, it’s really big. It was like a baseball bat with balls. Yeah, it was bad.
Tori Dunlap:
Oh, swing better, batter. Okay, other questions. You host a show called Who Made the Potato Salad?, and you’ve talked about creating it-
X Mayo:
Yes, that’s my baby.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. “You didn’t want to put your fate into someone else’s hands,” that’s what you’ve said in creating it. So how has that decision changed your career trajectory? I’ve heard this from a lot of women, especially women in entertainment, where it was like, “I’m going to create the thing because I’m not getting the opportunities I want” or “I’m going to create the thing because the thing currently doesn’t exist and I know it’ll work. I just got to do it myself.”
X Mayo:
I think for me, I’ve been producing since I was 19, so Potato Salad isn’t the first thing that I did. Because I started producing at 19, when I came up with Who Made the Potato Salad? At 29, that means I was bad for a good eight years. So I finally figured out like, “Oh, this is what the fuck you do, this is how to do it.” And even then with Potato Salad, I’m not saying that it’s perfect, there’s definitely room for improvement, but Who Made the Potato Salad? Is a sketch comedy show/community resource hub for Black people and people of color to get us representation in entertainment. It’s a community resource hub because we do panels, we’ve done them in person, we switched to doing them virtually during the pandemic. We’ve done mentoring workshops, and they’ve resulted in Black women being hired at the Ziwe Show, Charlemagne Tha God Show, and at the Daily Show. We have a woman right now, Folake, who’s still there, and she’s Emmy nominated and also has an NAACP.
So providing access to Black people of all experiences. I just want to make sure that we’re including Black trans, non-binary people, people that are differently abled. I just want to make sure that those are all the people that I’m talking about when I say Black people. So yeah, Who Made the Potato Salad? was something I wanted to do because I was going to different comedy shows and I was plunging myself into the comedy scene, and I was like, “This shit is poorly promoted.” I think because I come from theater, I was like, “Why isn’t there any fucking people here?” The least you can do by not paying me is giving me a sold-out fucking audience and an audience that’s primed and ready to fucking go.
I wanted a party, so I was like, “Where’s the food? Where is the liquor? Where is the DJ? Where is the dancing?” Who Made the Potato Salad? has all those elements. I’m very grateful, and I know people have come to Who Made the Potato Salad? or been a part of it and went and started their own that are catered to their communities. There is this woman named Zubie, and she has this show called [foreign language 00:23:56], and [foreign language 00:23:57] means bitch in the Indian community. When I walked up there and they have this chai drink, and then they had food, I was like, “Oh my God.” It made me feel so good that Who Made the Potato Salad? could be a symbol of like, “Oh, okay, you know what? This gives me the idea to do this.” I’m not saying that anybody is jockeying what I was doing, but it made them think like, “Oh, okay, let me add something to that that’s specific to my community.”
Tori Dunlap:
It was the inspiration.
X Mayo:
Yeah. Zuzu had said that, she was like, “X, when you had that food [inaudible 00:24:29].” I was like, “Yeah, we should.” I was like, “This is why people start doing stuff.” I mean, had it not been for Tyler Perry, I would’ve not started producing. It’s a domino effect. It keeps it going for Black people and minorities, which is so dope. So yeah, no, I started it because I wanted what I wanted to see. I was like, “These shows are not live enough.” I was like, “This shit is not lit.” I was like, “I want people asses up. I want people’s throwing in the seats. This needs to be a good ass time.” I think because I’m someone who loves a challenge, the fact that the show was at midnight, I had to work my ass off to promote it. I had to convince people on a Saturday night that at midnight this is where the fuck-
Tori Dunlap:
Where you should be.
X Mayo:
… need to be. You need to come to a show at midnight, honey. And it’s been sold out since day one, and I’m very grateful.
Tori Dunlap:
That’s fucking amazing. I have a background in theater and so does Kristen, our producer. And so you saying all of that, once you’re in that world, you start to understand it. But then all of the tap dancing you’re doing on stage, you got to do five times more off stage to get anybody to care.
X Mayo:
Oh my God.
Tori Dunlap:
The performance is less about you performing on stage, which of course you got to bring it, but it’s also if you’re producing the thing or if you are the person in charge, it is how much marketing and promotion you can do to make sure that you’re actually able to do the performance or actually able to do the event. That’s where the actual work comes in.
X Mayo:
Yes, for sure.
Tori Dunlap:
We know in your work, and you were just talking about this, you make it a point to write and create content that is predominantly, if not completely, written for Black people and people of color. And you’ve also talked about how people largely still don’t understand what it means to be Afro-Latina. Do you feel like this is opening up a larger conversation about others creating more content for underrepresented communities in media?
X Mayo:
You mean with Potato Salad?
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. Or just the work that you’re doing in general of just you being you?
X Mayo:
Yeah, I know it is because I see the fruits of our labor. When I say our, I mean me and my team, I’m nothing without them.
Tori Dunlap:
Well, and even the inspiration of the woman you mentioned.
X Mayo:
Yeah, with Zuzu and [inaudible 00:26:52], yeah. There are people that when we did the Asian takeover, there was a sketch that two people have done, and they turned that into a short film and they started winning film festivals. I’m also very specific too, Tori, with who I have in the audience because you could be the most talented bitch in the world, but who the fuck knows that, right? So making sure that industry is there in the audience. The all-Black takeover that we did in 2019, and we raised over $16,000 during a governmental shutdown when that piece of shit was in office. When we did that, I made sure to have industry that was there. And from there, there were members of this, to me, the best Black sketch comedy show that’s out, which is Astronomy Club, and it’s on Netflix. Please go watch it.
It was not promoted nearly enough, and it should have been. These are phenomenal Black women and men, and they only got one season. But please go watch it, it’s the funniest fucking sketch show. But the reason they got that show is because a lot of them were writers and actors in Who Made the Potato Salad?. A rep from Kenya Barris’ camp came to the show, they got a meeting, and the rest is history. And also, I told you, Folake, who’s hired now at the Daily Show, and another guy, Andre, who got hired as a writer at Charlamagne tha God Show, and then another girl named Bria who went to Charlamagne tha God Show, Ziwe, now she’s at the Tamron Hall Show as a producer. And these were all people that came through our mentorship program when we did a day in the life of late night in January 2021.
Over 250 Black and brown people submitted, we picked the top 25, and did a mock episode of Late Night. And they worked in every facet of Late Night. So yeah, it’s absolutely opening up a larger conversation but also providing access. I’m sorry, fuck these panels. Black people need money. We need community. We need connection. What the fuck are you telling me that I can’t get from a goddamn podcast? Who can I meet? Show me how the sausage is fucking made. That’s where I’m coming from. I’m not saying that panels don’t have a purpose, I’m not saying podcasts are not great. I’m on a podcast, I’m hosting a podcast, but I’m just saying, when it comes to Black people specifically in entertainment, we don’t have, we don’t have access. So for me, I know where I come from and I come from the bottom. That’s what I’m looking for, and I know too many people that look like me that need that as well.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. We call it inspiration porn over here at Her First 100K, which is the dream your big dreams, you sit at a conference, and you’re told-
X Mayo:
Child.
Tori Dunlap:
… that you can do anything you want. And then it’s like you get home and you’re like, “Yeah, but how do I actually do that? You haven’t told me who I should talk to. You haven’t told me what I need to actually do. You’ve just told me that I can dream big.” Which is important, that’s great to hear, but you have to couple it with, “Yeah, here’s the person you need to meet” or “Here is the actual skill you need to build in order to do what you want to do.”
X Mayo:
Yeah.
Tori Dunlap:
It’s my biggest pet peeve.
X Mayo:
It’s plain and simple. It’s really simple. I want to write sketch comedy so you have the biggest brains in sketch comedy that have done all these successful shows and I get to sit there and they get to talk about how they got their shot. Let them fucking analyze a sketch that I wrote. How about we do a table read of my sketch with Seth Rogan and Key and Peele and Issa Rae? How about let’s do that? But that’s where I’m at, and I feel like that is one of my purposes, and I love doing it. That’s Who Made the Potato Salad?, the next iteration of that I feel will be taking it a step further to bridge the gap between the creator and the Black and POC top dogs in the industry. Which is what I’m actively working on now and trying to solidify sponsorships because I’ve spent nearly all of my money on Who Made the Potato Salad?. I don’t make a dime from it, and I don’t need to. That’s not my goal, but my goal is to no longer dilute my savings for that because I do make it a price point that people from my community can afford it. Because soon as you hike that price up, who is this for? Especially for Black people, we don’t have shit, we’re poor. We need things for the low low.
Tori Dunlap:
Let’s talk about The Dough, your limited series.
X Mayo:
Yes, let’s get into it.
Tori Dunlap:
Can you talk about what intrigued you the most about diving into money stories and then why you decided to put a comedic twist to it?
X Mayo:
I think what made me want to dive into money stories is just because I think it’s the great equalizer, we all deal with it. I feel like you could be someone that’s managing a nine to five, or you can make well into six, seven figures, but there is issues that I think a lot of us have with it. I think it’s a universal issue. So that’s why I wanted to talk about it. I think a comedic flare to it is because some of these situations can be really hard, and I think I’m a comedian, my gift and a curse is that I’m going to take anything seriously. And I should. But Tori, listen, life is hard already, if you’re not going to laugh, listen, you got to do it, you got to laugh your way through life.
So yeah, so a comedic flare was going to be on it regardless if I wanted to do it or not because that’s just who I am. But yeah, some of these stories are really, really hard and some of them are layered and difficult and sad and some disturbing. And so not saying that there are moments when you see me, I’m very much so present. I’m not like an asshole. When people are talking about being financially abused by their partners, I’m not like… No, I am not an idiot. But there are moments of joy and levity throughout those really difficult podcasts that will help you get through it.
Tori Dunlap:
One of the biggest issues with personal finance that we are really trying to dismantle here at Her First 100K and have been for years is a lot of the people who have historically been at the forefront of talking about money have been, of course, cisgendered straight white men, but specifically folks who do not acknowledge systemic oppression, who do not acknowledge that personal finance is not just about your personal choices, it’s about all of the other systemic bullshit that is so much larger than us as individuals. I mean, imagine your take is similar, but talk to me about was that something that you felt was missing, was conversations of like, “Yes, let’s talk about money and let’s do it in a way that’s accessible and funny and also caring and empathetic, but acknowledges all of the that it has a much bigger play on your everyday life than do you have a budget or not.”?
X Mayo:
I think that we peel back the layers of building generational wealth. We talked to amazing humans, one who’s a friend of mine, Lauren, about taking over her father’s business and him basically grooming her to take it over while he was on his deathbed. And also another gentleman we talked to who works for his company, him and his uncle’s company is the biggest Black yacht full service company in Chicago. And then we also get into it with financial therapists, which like, “Oh, fuck me, didn’t know that existed.” Let’s peel back the layers of why we have emotional attachments to money and why we do the things we do with money. So it was nice to get into the nuances of money, not just have a budget, save it. We talked to women that were really abused, some that were really unprepared, wives that were not educating themselves about certain things or just giving everything over to their husband and then leaving and not having a damn thing when they ran the whole business. But when we leave, you weren’t paying attention to this contract and that contract, and now he has 80 and you have 20. What the fuck?
Tori Dunlap:
We get emails every day from women somewhere with that story or something similar.
X Mayo:
But that’s my thing, if we can’t talk about it, Tori, we have to talk about money. I could never be with a man and we’re not having these deep conversations. Let’s talk about it while we love each other, while we’re fucking going to Bali in Thailand and eating sushi in Japan.
Tori Dunlap:
Before shit goes down.
X Mayo:
Yeah. It’s like, “Hey, I love you, you love me. This is great. I love you. Look at these whales. Wow, look at us whale watching. Okay, so here’s the thing, you love me now, but if you were to not fuck with me later on down the line I piss you off, right now you think, what, I should get half? What we’re doing?” We need to have those conversations, and I feel like prenups are so important. People don’t like to use them, and they get very like… But I feel like this, if you’re not ready to talk prenups, you’re not ready to talk nups meaning nups.
Tori Dunlap:
No.
X Mayo:
You not ready to talk nothing.
Tori Dunlap:
No, you’re not ready to talk about anything.
X Mayo:
No.
Tori Dunlap:
Here’s the thing of you have a prenup if you get married in any state in the United States, just the state decides what’s going to happen to your money.
X Mayo:
Good point, Tori. Good point.
Tori Dunlap:
That’s what I wish people realized is it’s like you sign a prenup when you get married. Do you want the state’s prenup, or do you and your partner want to decide what that actually looks like?
X Mayo:
Correct. Correct.
Tori Dunlap:
I would argue you need to figure it out, even if it’s the same, even if you’re like, “Yeah, that’s fine,” you need to make that an active choice as opposed to just, “I am too scared to talk about it.” Yeah, my very hot take is, if you don’t feel like you can talk about money with your partner, you should not be together. Period. It’s just like anything else. If you don’t feel like you can talk about sex in your relationship, if you don’t feel like you can have serious hard conversations, then how are you going to survive a relationship with this person? It’s not going to work.
X Mayo:
But also assess whether or not that you don’t feel comfortable or safe to talk about it or that you’re just conflict-avoidant.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah, sure.
X Mayo:
Because it might not be the relationship, babe, it might just be. You just don’t like-
Tori Dunlap:
No, that’s very valid.
X Mayo:
… to have difficult conversations. Period. I mean, there is a book that I haven’t read, but I feel like the title is enough, and it’s called Conflict is Not Abuse. I did buy it. But I was like, “Oh, this title alone is dragging America.” We all were scalped by that title, and I was like, “It’s not, I lean into it.” I think because I have people in my life who we have lovingly conflict, we may not agree, but we are not disrespectful, we are not arguing, and we always come to a middle ground, and I think because we’re clear on our triggers… Or even if we’re not clear on all of them, Tori, we’re clear that we’re being triggered. So I’m reacting to something that is not actually happening right now, so I need to take a beat.
Tori Dunlap:
Right.
X Mayo:
I think because I have adults in my life we can talk about whatever.
Tori Dunlap:
No, it’s so incredibly crucial. I think you probably know the stat, but I say this all the time on the show, is that we’re more likely to talk about any other uncomfortable taboo topic as individuals but also as a collective society before we’ll talk about money. My not so conspiracy conspiracy theory is that we are taught that talking about money is gauche or taboo so that we are underpaid and overworked. Because if you don’t talk about money, you don’t know that somebody else is making more than you. And if you don’t talk about money, you don’t know that a lot of other people also feel shame about their debt. It’s so importantly crucial to talk about, yet it’s still this incredibly taboo thing.
X Mayo:
Well also, it’s crazy how women, we literally could talk about the ins and out of the walls of our uterus being pulled once a month and the blood that gushes and period stains, and we could talk about all of that, but when it comes down to money, it’s like, “Oh, no, no, no, no, no.” I think sometimes too we might have a fear of abandonment. We don’t want to rock the boat. It’s like, “If I say this, then they’ll leave me.” Well, then they’re not for you, babe. That’s not the one or the two, okay?
Tori Dunlap:
Well, and we’ve also been taught, specifically as women, again, this is my entire work, and I’m not going to bore listeners because they’ve heard me say this a million times, but-
X Mayo:
Well, I haven’t heard it.
Tori Dunlap:
Great, we’ve been taught specifically as women, and I can’t speak individually as obviously as a woman of color, but I know from our research, it is this narrative of, “Yes, don’t talk about money because yes, it keeps you underpaid and overworked.” But specifically, men are out here talking about money. White men are out here talking about money all the time, and yet, we feel like it’s not for us because we’ve been told it’s not for us. And so then we don’t talk about it. And then it becomes this cyclical thing where, “Oh, I can’t talk about money because somebody might abandon me or somebody might think I’m weird or somebody might go, ‘Oh, she’s bragging about how much money she has.'” And so it’s just this really toxic thing that keeps happening where it’s like, “I’m so scared to talk about money. And then I don’t talk about money, and then I feel bad for not talking about money.” It just continues.
X Mayo:
Yeah. I think that cycle is slowly starting to break. I mean, the women that I have around me-
Tori Dunlap:
Me too.
X Mayo:
… are all boss, top dogs, and they’re just like, “Listen, even when we had $100 to our name, let’s talk about it. It’s just we’re not willing to be taken advantage of. It’s too many women out here becoming CEOs. We’re doing our own shit. We’re making our own money. It’s like, ‘No, we’re going to have these conversations about it.'” I think it’s becoming even more uncomfortable for men. It’s like, “You have no problem talking about it as long as it’s not me talking about it with you or as long as we’re not talking about, well, I’m making more money, so let’s figure out these bills, or how can you supplement your money with making the load lighter here in this home? You need to get cracking on them dishes.”
There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t think you should approach a man like that, I’m just freely speaking to you. I would never talk to anybody like that, as if they’re subservient or I feel like they should do that. But it’s like, no, we need to figure out ways how can we make the load lighter for each other. I do believe that, unfortunately, patriarchy has men and women believing that men are just supposed to provide. It’s like, no, I just believe that you are worth more than that. I don’t think that that’s the only thing that you’re supposed to be doing. I do think that in some situations there is not a problem that a man is making less, he doesn’t have an issue with that, and a woman doesn’t have an issue with that. I think once we realized that all this shit is made the up… We just had daylight savings time, we fucking just switched the damn clock. Time is not even real, all this shit is fucking made up.
Tori Dunlap:
It gets dark at 16:30, life isn’t worth living.
X Mayo:
No, it’s so stupid. I was like, “Is it nine o’ clock?”
Tori Dunlap:
Literally, we’re recording this at 14:44-
X Mayo:
14:44 Pacific.
Tori Dunlap:
… it’s already starting to get dark.
X Mayo:
It’s already starting to… No, I’m like in my spirit, Lord Jesus. But yeah, I do believe that do whatever works for you. If you are a married couple and they’re like, “We have separate rooms” or “We’re married and we don’t live with each other,” whatever it looks like for you, all this shit is made up. You don’t have to have a wedding. You don’t have to wear a white dress. You don’t have to do any of this shit. You don’t have to do the dance with your dad. You do have to give someone a gift though. Don’t fucking do that. When someone gets married, give them something that is financially feasible for you.
My homie, Roy Wood Jr., amazing comedian and friend and mentor, he’s wonderful. He has a bit about how everybody loves to when they get married, like, “Yes, give us gifts.” They love to have us come to the wedding. He’s like, “But when y’all get divorced, y’all don’t want to talk to nobody about it.” He said, “And also, who the fuck got my toaster? Now, shouldn’t I get my toaster back? Because who needs a four bread toaster, it’s not four y’all no more, it’s y’all broke up.” It’s not you and your kids. It’s just one. Which is so funny to me.
Tori Dunlap:
Well, that’s a whole other conversation about what we celebrate for women too. Again, this is again on my feminist soapbox where it’s like, what do we celebrate statistically for women? Anything related to a partner. We celebrate her getting engaged, we celebrate her getting married, we celebrate her baby shower. We celebrate her-
X Mayo:
Bridal shower.
Tori Dunlap:
… having kids, and that’s it. That’s it. If you want to throw a divorce party, great. I’m there. If you ran a marathon, we need to celebrate that. That’s, for me, an actual accomplishment. Getting married, you signed a [inaudible 00:43:29]-
X Mayo:
No, having a man is not an accomplishment. I’m sorry, it’s not. I think-
Tori Dunlap:
Making sure that relationship is healthy, yeah, that’s hard work, that’s an accomplishment. It’s one of those things where I’m like… Yes, having a baby is also an accomplishment. I don’t want people to come for me. But it’s also, we don’t celebrate the things that are also these huge, massive milestones like we celebrate marriage or pregnancy. It’s just not a thing.
X Mayo:
But I’m the complete opposite, Tori. My friends will tell you, if my friends get a job, if they get chosen for a specific NBC writers thing or something, we’re celebrating immediately. I’m picking you up, we’re going to get food immediately. One of my best friends, best friends of 20 years, I’m so proud of her for being sober, I think she’s on her third year now, when she was sober last year and she made it I think to her first or second year last year, I was like, “We’re going to fucking London. We’re going to Europe. We’re celebrating.” I am somebody like, no, if you set a new boundary, if you are no longer accepting things that don’t serve you anymore, you started therapy, we got to get a cupcake.
I’m definitely that friend. I think that just culturally that’s what it is. Especially being Mexican, we fucking celebrate. There is a party from 1998 that’s still going on right now. We don’t fucking stop. We don’t know what it is, Tori. I definitely am somebody that believes, and I think because I’ve experienced so much death, more than the average person should ever experience, losing my brother at 16 to a drunk driver, now I’ve lost a total of four additional cousins, so five people in my life, grandma, grandfather, I’ve had so much death that I am hellbent on living, and I lack patience, which doesn’t always work in some ways, but I’m just like, “No, I know time is limited.” I’m always thinking about death. And not in a gruesome way, but in a way that’s like, “I’m going to fucking live.”
Tori Dunlap:
Totally.
Yeah. Because I’m the same person, I’m like, “Let’s celebrate. Let’s figure out.” Any excuse to get together, great. It’s more just I think society’s perspective on it of just what’s worth for [inaudible 00:45:50]-
X Mayo:
Oh my God, the average woman is not… Yeah, no. The average woman is like, “Oh my God, I have… ” There’s this lawyer that I follow and he’s a divorce attorney with over 20 years of experience. He’s brilliant in my opinion, and I love his stats on it because it just… Proceed with caution. He just has a lot of stats that are very grim, but it’s just like, hey, you might fall on the other end of the scale and it might work out for you, but if not, get your prenup, protect yourself. But he was just saying how if I’ve been with a woman for 15, 20 years and they’re like, “Hey, when are you going to marry her?” He was like, “We’re happy. Why is it in society it’s just like, ‘No, you need to fucking marry her.'” It’s just like, well, why is that a notch against him or their relationship or their happiness? Are they really happy-
Tori Dunlap:
But it’s not a solution to marry.
X Mayo:
… if they don’t want to be married? What? Tori, this is the first time I live by myself. I’ve been by myself now for three years. I’ve got my first place at 33. Child, I thought I was an extrovert, turns out I just had too many fucking roommates. Okay, baby.
Tori Dunlap:
You and me both. Theater, so I’m like, “Oh, I love people. I’m so extroverted. You’ll never find any more extroverted extrovert than me.” I have lived on my own since, fuck, 2018. I don’t want to leave my house. All my friends know this.
X Mayo:
And I make it so homey.
Tori Dunlap:
Oh yes, love my house. Love it. Don’t want to leave, don’t want to go anywhere. I want to curl up on a ball and moan on the floor. That’s what I want to do the entire day.
X Mayo:
And you make it so homey. I love my place. I’m getting it decorated even more. Truly, my place looks like Pee-Wee’s fun house, and that’s what I’ve always wanted it to be. I love color. I love so many decorations. It brings me joy to see all these beautiful, colorful things. I have so many knickknacks over my house. I’m not leaving. If I was to be in a relationship… Also, a relationship is not an accomplishment, babe. Listen, a relationship on its best day is work. But even if I was to get in one, I don’t know if I’m itching to leave my shit to get your shit and smell your shit. Let’s see.
Tori Dunlap:
Oh yeah.
X Mayo:
Let’s fucking see.
Tori Dunlap:
I love my partner. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and I’m starting to do the like, “Oh, are we maybe thinking about moving in together?” And I’m thinking, “I love my own space. I love the way I’ve decorated. I don’t need trophies in here from your tournament. I don’t need to decorate like that. No, I’m proud of you, that’s great, but where am I putting that? Where am I putting that?”
X Mayo:
No. And also, Tori, I love my bed and I want to be in my bed by myself. I have a extension cord to pillow ratio that I like to have, and I have a king size-
Tori Dunlap:
Extension-
X Mayo:
… bed, which I could fit three of us in there.
Tori Dunlap:
I have a king size bed too, and I sleep alone.
X Mayo:
Yeah, so my extension cord is really big, it’s really long, and it goes right by this specific pillow. I get to charge it up. I have a fast charger, and then I turn over. We’re scrolling TikTok, I have a timer, 30 minutes. I save all my links because I follow the UK Black girlies and they tell me all this shit to buy. But because I’m being better about spending, I don’t go and buy it, but I have to click on it to get the serotonin. And I put it in a doc to come back to when I know I can financially do it. And then I go to sleep.
I don’t want you on my extension cord side. When I’m doing my TikTok, Divorce Court, Instagram combination, okay, combination-
Tori Dunlap:
Combination.
X Mayo:
… when I’m doing that, I don’t want you disturbing that. And I don’t want to put in headphones, I want to listen to that. So when you’re hearing the UK girl’s like, “Bruv, Bruv,” and then you’re hearing Judge Lynn Toler being like, “Excuse me, why would you accept that?” and then you hear an Instagram of a brioche brie and prosciutto being cooked, I just need you just to hush.
Tori Dunlap:
It’s your bed.
X Mayo:
Hush.
Tori Dunlap:
It’s your extension cord. It’s your [inaudible 00:50:03].
X Mayo:
It’s my bed. And also, my extension cord has to come from the right and I sleep on the left. I’m so picky now. So it’s like, “Listen, if we live together, it’s separate rooms.”
Tori Dunlap:
Well, once you live alone, it’s just like… Oh, I have fully had this conversation with my partner, and he agrees, we’re on the same page of sleep for us is really crucial. We can sometimes sleep in the same bed, and it’s usually not great, and so we’re like, “If we do move in together, it is separate rooms.” And that’s not because our relationship is toxic or unhealthy. It’s because we’re actually trying to make it better. I was just like, “I want to sleep. I want to get some sleep. That sounds great. That’s what I got to do.” Anyway, we’re off on a tangent, but I need my own extension cord. I’m like, “I need my own extension cord.”
X Mayo:
No, you have to have the extension cord because you have to have it in the bed. And you have a big one, and I charge my Apple Watch and my phone. And then I charge it up right there and it’s on the right side of me. And then once we’re charged, we flip over to the left and then we have the UK TikTok, Divorce Court, food Instagram combination.
Tori Dunlap:
I love it.
X Mayo:
And we’re going back and forth for 30 minutes and then we go to bed. Put the rain sounds on in the bed.
Tori Dunlap:
Yep. You mentioned that you’re still trying to figure out what to do with your own finances and that The Dough is an exploration of things that you wanted to learn about. What financial topics are you still working through?
X Mayo:
Not spending. But the strike has helped with that because, girl, we haven’t had extra. We’ve been fiscally responsible. All of the trips that I wanted to take and everything that I wanted to do shut down. Shout-out to my community because I was able to go to New York and stay at friends’ places for free and be back in my second home and perform and see art and go to Broadway and see plays and eat great food and be with friends. New York is just a magical fucking place. I got to be there right at the top of fall, so it’s hoodie season. We’re not even in winter, it’s not nasty yet. Mm-mm, it was great.
So yeah, definitely not spending, but that’s why I’ve implemented certain things. I have an issue with the ads, they fucking know me, and I bought quality shit, Tori. It wasn’t what I ordered versus what I’ve got, I’ve got an amazing shit from fucking Instagram. These ads know me, especially they know the home shit and the other home type people that I follow and what they buy. Girl. So what I do is I need that hit of serotonin, so I might even go and I might even make a cart. And then what I’ll do is that I’ll just send it to my home decor doc. I go back to those and I buy something from there twice a month, but I’m not buying it back to back to back immediately. One time I was on Instagram and I knew I had a problem, I had to call my business manager because I spent $600 in 15 minutes.
Tori Dunlap:
And you’re like, “I just blacked out. How did that happen?”
X Mayo:
600 American, Tori, you hear me? USD, baby.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah.
X Mayo:
Yeah. And it was all shit that I didn’t need. I didn’t need this fucking throw pillow. I didn’t need this wallpaper. But I was like, “Ooh, ooh, yeah.” And then I stopped and I said, “How much money did I just spend?” So yeah, definitely spending. But I’ve gotten better. I’ve implemented certain things, and praise God for my business manager, Tori, I would’ve been been homeless during this strike. She was talking about the strike February of this year. I was like, “Oh my God, Velva, you’re such a downer. Don’t kill my vibe. It’s great. We’re good. Swarms about to come out. We’re fine.” She’s like, “Okay, the famine is coming,” and she cut my spending. I am so bad with money-
Tori Dunlap:
That’s [inaudible 00:53:43].
X Mayo:
… that someone has to manage it. Yeah, she’s great. Velva we love. She was just listed on Hollywood Reporters top business managers. She’s the shit.
Tori Dunlap:
Amazing.
X Mayo:
So follow her if you haven’t. She has different short form content that she posts. Her name is Velva Anna Quincy. She’s the best.
Tori Dunlap:
Any stories in the interviews that stood out to you that you want to share that were particularly funny or poignant or just memorable?
X Mayo:
Yes, the sweet, sweet woman, I forget her name, but she was very good at saving her money. She’s first generation daughter of immigrant Asian parents, and she had a friend who was lesbian. The friend’s girlfriend was from another country and they were like, “The only way that she’ll be able to stay here… Mind you, she didn’t want to marry the bitch. She was like, “The only way she can be able to stay here is if you sign this loan so she can be in school here.” In my mind I would’ve been like, “Why don’t you marry her? You’re so in love in this club, do it right now, marry her.” She accumulated so much interest on that loan, they weren’t paying it, and they ended up breaking up. Child went and got their own other relationships and she ended up having to pay it off. And it was paid off over the course of 10, 15 years. It took a very long time. I think some payments were made by the lesbian couple separately, but I know she had a lot of debt that she accrued that she had to pay for.
Tori Dunlap:
That’s a long time.
X Mayo:
Yeah.
Tori Dunlap:
What was the conclusion of all of that? Was there a learning?
X Mayo:
She just paid it off and now her credit’s clear. I think she learned never to do that shit again. But she was young and that was her friend. I think this was before Obama passed the thing about same-sex marriage. It was before progressive times. And even now, we still have a long way to go, but it definitely wasn’t as progressive as it was now.
Tori Dunlap:
Totally. What are you looking forward to most about interviewing folks on The Dough? What are you looking forward to learning next?
X Mayo:
I’m just looking forward to learning things that I haven’t learned before, having conversations with amazing, layered, interesting, everyday people who have learned valuable lessons about money and want to share it. I think we’ve done that. I’m so excited. I don’t know if we have a season two, but season one is out. You can catch episodes, I believe, one through five right now wherever you get your podcast. It’s an amazing, wonderful show. It highlights so many women and minorities. We talk about everything from money dealing with the Bama Rush girls, all that fucking money that they spend just to be chosen. There’s a lot to unpack there if you are a therapist. And we talk about being financially abused, building legacy as Black people in this country that wasn’t built for us to have anything, really.
And then we talk about certain things like there’s a divorce registry that’s out there, which people don’t know about having a fresh start. It’s not just about people who get divorced. If you get separated from a long-term boyfriend or a long-term friend and you guys were living together, if you had a situation like that, Tori, I could go on there and get a registry up for you and people can buy you new sheets, new towels, toothbrush. There’s different people that you can talk to like mediums, therapists, different business managers, lawyers.I’ve talked to so many amazing people that I think at the root of it have always depended on their community. We say that a lot on The Dough, it’s what we believe and it’s what I believe, that community is currency.
Tori Dunlap:
Amazing. Thank you so much for your work. So The Dough, anywhere else we can find you? Plug your socials, plug away.
X Mayo:
Yes. You can find me on Instagram at 80dollarsandasuitcase. That’s 8-0, the word dollars, andasuitcase, all spelled out. And that’s my testimony obviously from me living in New York. You can follow whomadethepotatosaladshow, all spelled out on Instagram. I am on Twitter, @80andasuitcase, but Twitter is where demons roam. So if you repost something I’ve done, I will repost it, but I do not linger over there on the Twitter. No, ma’am.
Tori Dunlap:
It’s dead.
X Mayo:
And also, I know it’s named after me, I have no relation to Elon. Let’s just fucking get that out of there. I know Twitter is now called X. I don’t know that man.
Tori Dunlap:
Never heard of him. Never seen him in my life. Isn’t that what she says, “Never seen him in my life.”?
X Mayo:
Mariah Carey, who is she?
Tori Dunlap:
I met Keke [inaudible 00:58:18]-
X Mayo:
Mariah Carey, who she is?
Tori Dunlap:
… for the first time about a month or two ago. She is exactly what you think she’s going to be. I don’t know if you know her.
X Mayo:
Who, Keke Palmer?
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah.
X Mayo:
Oh yeah, 10 out of 10 recommend. She’s the best.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah, she’s fantastic. Amazing. Thank you so much.
X Mayo:
Mm-hmm. Thank you so much for having me, Tori. And now this is the end of-
Tori Dunlap:
It is.
X Mayo:
… the podcast, which I’m clear on.
Tori Dunlap:
Thank you so much to X for joining us. You can watch her in all of the things, American Auto, Please Don’t Destroy. You can follow her at all of the links down below and you can subscribe to The Dough podcast wherever you’re listening right now. As always, thank you for your support of our show, Financial Feminist. Thank you for subscribing, rating, reviewing. Thank you for submitting your voicemails and your questions and for sharing us on social media. If you’re wondering where to get started in your financial journey, you can go to herfirst100k.com/quiz and take our six-step money personality quiz for us to deliver a personalized plan straight to your inbox. Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your week. Okay, bye.
Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First 100K podcast. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap, produced by Kristen Fields, associate producer, Tamisha Grant, marketing and administration by Karina Patel, Sophia Cohen, Khalil Dumaz, Elizabeth McCumber, Beth Bowen, Amanda La Fleur, Masha Bachmetyeva, Kailyn Sprinkle, Sumaya Mulla-Carillo, and Harvey Carlson. Researched by Ariel Johnson, audio engineering by Alyssa Midcalf, promotional graphics by Mary Stratton, photography by Sarah Wolfe, and theme music by Jonah Cohen Sound. A huge thanks to the entire Her First 100K team and community for supporting the show. For more information about Financial Feminist, Her First 100K, our guests, and episode show notes, visit financialfeministpodcast.com.
Tori Dunlap
Tori Dunlap is an internationally-recognized money and career expert. After saving $100,000 at age 25, Tori quit her corporate job in marketing and founded Her First $100K to fight financial inequality by giving women actionable resources to better their money. She has helped over one million women negotiate salary, pay off debt, build savings, and invest.
Tori’s work has been featured on Good Morning America, the New York Times, BBC, TIME, PEOPLE, CNN, New York Magazine, Forbes, CNBC, BuzzFeed, and more.
With a dedicated following of almost 250,000 on Instagram and more than 1.6 million on TikTok —and multiple instances of her story going viral—Tori’s unique take on financial advice has made her the go-to voice for ambitious millennial women. CNBC called Tori “the voice of financial confidence for women.”
An honors graduate of the University of Portland, Tori currently lives in Seattle, where she enjoys eating fried chicken, going to barre classes, and attempting to naturally work John Mulaney bits into conversation.
