BONUS: Burnout Almost Killed Me with Mallory Rowan

May 26, 2022

The following article may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. This doesn't cost you anything, and shopping or using our affiliate partners is a way to support our mission. I will never work with a brand or showcase a product that I don't personally use or believe in.

The following article may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. This doesn’t cost you anything, and shopping or using our affiliate partners is a way to support our mission. I will never work with a brand or showcase a product that I don’t personally use or believe in.

Dealing with burnout? You’re far from alone.

In today’s episode, Tori is introducing you to our newest HFK creator, Mallory Rowan, who’s brush with burnout almost killed her…literally.

HFK Creators is a new series we’re launching at Her First $100K to bring in different voices who are specialist in specific fields to make sure we’re serving ALL of our incredible community. Mallory is just one of the many amazing creators you’ll meet over the next few months as we expand our voice.

Mallory will be joining us as an expert in Canadian finance, real estate, and marketing. She’s a total powerhouse and we are thrilled to have a voice to share with our audience from the Great White North.

In today’s intro episode, you’ll get to know Mallory –– how she got started, how she dealt with her burnout and built a better business based on anti-hustle culture. We’ll be sharing the rest of the episode with you throughout the summer, and of course, you’ll be seeing more of Mallory on our social channels and website.

Meet Mallory

When Mallory was 22, she built a global, multi-six figure e-commerce business on a student budget. They were scaling incredible fast but then it happened: she burned out. She started losing her hair, getting unexplainable rashes all over her, and she didn’t even notice she had pneumonia until a doctor heard her trying to catch a breath. Now she helps entrepreneurs build without burnout: more specifically, she helps them skip the burnout entirely, work less but actually start earning more, and do it on their OWN terms. She has been featured as a Shopify Master, a lululemon ambassador, and one of United Way’s “People to Know”.

Mallory’s Links:

Instagram

Website

Free Instagram Growth Strategy Workshop

Tools and Resources

Resources:

Our HYSA recommendation

Watch Financial Feminist on YouTube

HFK Instagram

Financial Feminist Instagram

Transcript:

Tori Dunlap (00:00):

Hello, Financial Feminists. Welcome back on a very special day, because today is our very first bonus episode of this round, of this season. We are bringing you six episodes a month, normally … I know. What a value. What an exciting time. Six episodes of Financial Feminist a month … and every once in a while we’re also going to release a bonus episode. Sometimes it might be some extra bit of conversation that you’ve never heard. Other times it might be a mini deep dive on a topic of interest to you all.

Tori Dunlap (00:35):

Today is an extra special one because I’m introducing you to someone you’re going to be seeing and hearing a lot more of, over at Her First $100K. If you found Financial Feminist randomly through the podcast charts or because a friend recommended it to you, you might not know that Financial Feminist is just one part of the company I founded called Her First $100K.

Tori Dunlap (00:56):

If you followed Her First $100K on something like Instagram or TikTok or our Facebook group, you’ve seen so many incredible discussions and posts about various different financial topics. One of the things that we keep getting requests for, more and more, is different kinds of information, different kinds of content.

Tori Dunlap (01:15):

Since we launched Financial Feminist … which actually, fun fact, we are recording this May 17th. We launched the first episode of Financial Feminist a year ago today. Very exciting … what’s happened since we launched the show is our international audience has only continued to grow. If you’re listening and you’re not based in the United States, hello, welcome, we’re happy you’re here.

Tori Dunlap (01:34):

So we want to be able to serve this audience, serve you all, in the best way we know how. And because I am an expert, but really only on personal finance issues in the United States, we are so excited to bring in some new voices to Her First $100K, especially voices that are diverse and from different backgrounds. So I’m excited to introduce you to Mallory Rowan, who is our first HFK creator. You’re going to be seeing a lot more of her content around Canadian finances, real estate, managing money as a couple, building a business; over on all of the Her First $100K socials.

Tori Dunlap (02:11):

Not only is Mal one of the smartest business people I know … I am so lucky to call her a friend. We talk a little bit about how we met in this episode. Maybe you’ve even taken part in one of our collaborations. Mal and I have collaborated on workshops around building businesses. Actually, these workshops are still accessible at herfirst100k.com/products. We built an entire, what we call the business bootcamp, around how to start and grow a business, especially o
nline.

Tori Dunlap (02:39):

We’re so excited, as a team, at Her First $100K, to be able to start bringing in different voices, different perspectives. And today is that day. Today is the day it starts. So if you are Canadian, if you’re interested in growing a business, if you’re interested in real estate, again, there’s so much value that Mal provides. So you’re going to be seeing a lot more of her around these parts.

Tori Dunlap (03:03):

Mallory is a serial entrepreneur, real estate investor, content creator, and resident Canadian. She’ll be joining us periodically over at Her First $100K to offer her unique insight into marketing, real estate, managing money as a couple, and Canadian finances.

Tori Dunlap (03:17):

When Mal was 22, she built a global multi six figure e-comm business on a student budget. They started scaling incredibly fast, but she quickly found herself completely burned out. As a result, she started losing her hair, getting unexplainable rashes all over her body. She didn’t even notice she had pneumonia until a doctor heard her trying to catch her breath.

Tori Dunlap (03:35):

So, now, she helps entrepreneurs build without burnout. More specifically, she helps them skip the burnout entirely, work less but actually start earning more, and doing it on their own terms. She has been featured as a Shopify master, a Lululemon ambassador, and one of United Way’s people to know, and is also, of course, one of my very, very favorite people.

Tori Dunlap (03:54):

Today is a get to know you episode, to introduce you to Mal and to her story. We have a couple more parts, that are more specific and more actionable, coming later. So this is a tiny taste of all the nuggets of wisdom Mal has to offer for our community. Again, I’m so excited to introduce you to someone you’re going to be seeing much more of. Let’s get started.

Tori Dunlap (04:11):

How you doing, man? It’s so good to see you.

Mallory Rowan (04:31):

I know. I’m good. How are you?

Tori Dunlap (04:32):

I feel like we haven’t talked … you’ve been talking to my team lately more than you’ve been talking to me.

Mallory Rowan (04:37):

I know. So I think this is the most I’ve talked to different people on your team.

Tori Dunlap (04:42):

Yeah. Yeah.

Mallory Rowan (04:43):

Like, multiple people at once.

Tori Dunlap (04:44):

I know. Well now we’re like 13, which is crazy.

Mallory Rowan (04:48):

Crazy.

Tori Dunlap (04:49):

It’s been wild.

Tori Dunlap (04:50):

So our audience has continued to grow more international. As I have mentioned, of course, you are based in Canada, you’re Canadian. I think a lot of people don’t understand that personal finance, probably like 80%, 90%, can be international. But there’s that 10%, where it comes to investing and real estate, and all of these things that are very specific, not just by continent, but by specific country. A lot of people go, “What about Europe?” And I’m like, “You need to be more specific.” Every single thing is very different. And it’s hard enough for me to just keep track of the United States financial system, let alone every single country’s.

Tori Dunlap (05:27):

So, I’m just so excited. You and I have known each other now for a couple years. Call Mal a good friend. I’m just so excited to have our audience be more introduced to
you and your expertise. So thanks for joining me today.

Mallory Rowan (05:40):

Yeah, thanks for having me. I was going to say, pandemic makes everything weird, but I feel like we must have known each other for like five or-

Tori Dunlap (05:46):

Well, I think we must have been in like 2018. So yeah, it’s been at least four years. Which is crazy. That’s wild. I mean, 2020 to 2022, that’s not real years. That’s just a period of time.

Mallory Rowan (06:00):

Doesn’t count. Yeah.

Tori Dunlap (06:01):

So obviously I know a lot about your story, but I want to go back because you and I, I think, have very similar trajectories. So what did you go to college for? What was the original plan? When you graduated, what happened next? And what was that journey for you about what you thought you’d do with your life, professionally?

Mallory Rowan (06:22):

Yeah. So I went to university here. I went to school for journalism. And then when I was maybe going into second year I think, I picked up a minor in business. So I knew, even going into journalism, I was like, “Okay, I’m either an MTV host or I’m not in journalism.” It was kind of like …

Tori Dunlap (06:44):

You’re either so far in it or you’re not in it at all.

Mallory Rowan (06:47):

Yeah.

Tori Dunlap (06:48):

Yeah.

Mallory Rowan (06:48):

Exactly. And journalism is an interesting industry because it’s one of the most truest to climbing that ladder still, of: if you want to be the news anchor at six o’clock you’re going to write the fire newspaper story about the fire down the block to work your way up for years. So I didn’t have that love for journalism, but I had the love for the multimedia side of it, like the writing, the video, the audio, and just the resources and network that came with it.

Mallory Rowan (07:16):

So in journalism school I got to learn how to edit audio, how to make good quality video; all of these really, really useful skills for, honestly, anyone in our generation. And then, in that process, I started working in marketing at the same time. And that’s where I decided … it was just validating what I already knew, that I was always in love with marketing and the business side of stuff. Even in high school, I planned our prom, I did the grad merch, I planned all the charity events. I loved both sides of it; the marketing, but I also loved figuring out the profit and stuff like that.

Mallory Rowan (07:51):

So once I had that first job in marketing, I’m like, “You know what? I do love marketing.” Picked up the minor in business and just went from there. So I really didn’t know for sure where I’d end up. But I think, in my head, I was always going to be a high level exec at a company.

Tori Dunlap (08:07):

That was my thing, is I wanted to be VP of marketing by 30 at some sort of company. That was the plan for me too.

Mallory Rowan (08:14):

100%. And that meant that you made it. I wanted to win a 30 under 30 or 40 under 40 on some corporate list. That side of things.

Mallory Rowan (08:23):

Luckily, I always say our school was really great for encouraging entrepreneurship, as an entire school and then also within business. So I had entrepreneurship classes. In those classes, they pushed us, like, “Hey, don’t make up some fake product. If you have a business or you want to start a business, work on that in this class.” And that was really what pushed me into my first business, which was our powerlifting apparel.

Mallory Rowan (08:47):

In that period, I shifted from full corporate world to startup world. I loved that. I loved the more casual … I’ve never understood why we have to be so
stiff in corporate jobs. It was just never for me. So I went more that startup route, very like Nerf guns, bunch of 28 year old dudes kind of thing.

Mallory Rowan (09:05):

But then I found, with that, I’m like, “Oh cool, I get this flexibility and freedom, but I have all the founder pressure but I’m not really getting the founder benefits.” It was my mom that kept being the one to push me, to be like, “You’ve cried too many times about this job, for something where you’re not getting a very big piece of the pie.” So she was like, “This is too much for what you’re really getting.” Which also started as an unpaid internship. There was a time where I’m stressed about this job and I’m not even getting a dollar.

Mallory Rowan (09:35):

And then it wasn’t till really that class project that pushed me to bring this thing to life. I ended up starting it with my training partner at the time, Josh, that you know. He is now more than a training partner. We did the awkward, “Let’s just be friends, but let’s start a business together,” when we were clearly, probably already in love with each other but just not ready to see it.

Mallory Rowan (10:00):

But yeah, we started it. And we just started with one t-shirt launch. And then I just feel like it’s fast forward and then basically here. I really didn’t see that entrepreneur path until it started, and then it really was just one launch at a time.

Tori Dunlap (10:16):

One of the things I think that we first connected about is we had a mutual friend … you know this, but I’ve been an admirer of what you’ve built for so long. Mal is so good at marketing. You are so good at marketing and you’re so good at storytelling. I think one of the things that unfortunately stood out was you built this business with Josh and it almost killed you. It legitimately almost killed you. So can you tell us what that was and what happened?

Mallory Rowan (10:45):

Yeah. So this was, I would say, like peak Gary V., is a good way to encapsulate those years. He was hot. But that was the overarching, I feel like, cultural theme for a while there, especially in the startup space. So that really got the best of me.

Mallory Rowan (11:05):

In hindsight, part of why we started our powerlifting apparel company was because we were in that community ourselves and we wanted something that represented us. But it also meant being in that community was that I was competing in powerlifting. Which was really hard on the body. I’ve always had weird body things. I joke Josh is Superman, because he could take a flight to LA and then hit a new squat record. Whereas I’d be trying to warm up on squats and being like, “What is happening with my body?” So that was really hard.

Tori Dunlap (11:36):

Which is totally normal. Yeah.

Mallory Rowan (11:39):

Right. Yeah. So I’m a little bit on the more sensitive side than normal, body-wise. And then Josh is the hardcore other. Which was its own dynamic because I was being like, “What’s wrong with my body?”

Mallory Rowan (11:50):

But that period I was working full-time, I was still working a corporate job. I went: corporate, startups, and then back to corporate, as like a: sell my soul temporarily to build this business. So I was working full-time, then doing my startup, essentially, full-time. I was still competing in powerlifting. Which, that’s like three hours of training in the gym a day, not to mention you’re counting your macros, cutting weight. Yeah.

Mallory Rowan (12:17):

So my body just started deteriorating. Because I’ve always had weird things with my body I feel like I didn’t notice at first. It’s normal for me to like get a weird rash, I’ve always had eczema or asthma. So stuff like that would come up. But it wasn’t till I went to the doctor for … literally, I think it was like a birth control prescription or something. And then she was like, “Your lungs are disgusting.” I was like, “Oh, true.” She was like, “I’m going to send you for a chest x-ray.” But she’s like, “You definitely have pneumonia.”

Mallory Rowan (12:49):

I think that just spoke to how in it I was, that it was such a buildup and I was just being like, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to hustle like I did last year or whatever,” and I was just literally falling apart.

Tori Dunlap (13:02):

Right. And keep ignoring it because the pursuit of that. Right? As it’s like …

Mallory Rowan (13:07):

Yeah. I’ve always been asthmatic. So she’s like, “When did your cough start?” I’m like, “I don’t know, years ago.” Which she’s like, “No, this is bad.” That was when it actually took a few rounds of prescription to try to deal with that.

Mallory Rowan (13:21):

And then even after, when she’s like, “Your pneumonia’s gone,” I’m like, “I still sound like shit.” I remember I took a video and it sounded like my lungs were purring. It was so gross.

Tori Dunlap (13:31):

Oh wow. Well, and your hair was falling out too. I remember that, of seeing those photos.

Mallory Rowan (13:39):

Yeah, yeah. Simultaneously, that started happening. And that was really hard because this is my natural hair color. So as much as it’s super blonde, it also means super fine and thin. So, for me, I already have thin hair. So for it to start thinning was so hard too, especially when you’re in a space where you’re showing up in photo shoots and online all the time, and then you’re like, “I don’t have enough hair to cover that.” Right?

Tori Dunlap (14:06):

Right. Using social media to run a business, while also lifting.

Mallory Rowan (14:11):

Yes. And that was a tough part too, is that intersect of the community. It was so great to be in that community. But then I kind of felt this pressure, especially since Josh and I were strong lifters in Canada, it was like, okay, I got to keep competing and I got to keep breaking records or keep trying to get for first.

Mallory Rowan (14:29):

So that pressure on top of it, I got to the point where I’m like, “Okay, my body needs a break from the lifting, but I can’t let people know that.” And that was a really hard period for me because it’s like, is my community going to be affected by this? And also is our revenue, at the end of the day, going to be affected by this? I can’t really just stop lifting when what people loved about us was that we were lifters in the community. So that was a lot of pressure to unpack.

Tori Dunlap (14:58):

Now, your work, I think, is largely impacted by that story. You’re really focused now on: how do I help other business owners build a sustainable business that’s very anti-hustle? What does anti-hustles mean to you?

Mallory Rowan (15:11):

I think, for me, it’s asking the question of: what do you actually want? And then constantly refining that to: what does that mean? Because I think so much of the hustle culture, as much as we have this whole self-care culture that’s really come through the last few years, there’s still so much … I mean, hustle culture is just capitalism really, turned up. Capitalism didn’t go away. So I think …

Tori Dunlap (15:37):

You don’t have to say that quietly. It is 100% capitalism. It is capitalism to a tee. It’s telling you your worth is in your productivity and you can’t take a break, you can’t rest. You’re lazy if you rest. Right? Yeah. Totally.

Mallory Rowan (15:50):

Right. Now we’re just being sold resting products, right? So it’s not much better.

Tori Dunlap (15:55):

Yes.

Mallory Rowan (15:56):

But I think it’s really about asking yourself: what do I actually want? And then taking off that defense mechanism and being like, do you actually want that? Because people will say, “Oh, I want financial freedom,” but that’s because that’s what they’re told, as an entrepreneur, or maybe just anyone, to chase.

Mallory Rowan (16:14):

But then even within that, asking, “Well, what does that mean to you? What actually is financial freedom? What do those two words really mean?” Because they can be drastically different. Someone can feel financially free at 20,000 a year in income, if they’re living in a cabin in the woods and have everything their heart desires. And someone else might not feel financially free, even when they’re pulling in 2 million.

Mallory Rowan (16:35):

So it’s really hard, when we’re chasing these arbitrary goals, or realizing: I don’t even care about financial freedom. What I care about is flexibility to pick up my kids every day at 3:00 PM. So I think really breaking down those goals and seeing: do I care about the thing that I’m striving for? Because that’s going to be more important than anything else.

Mallory Rowan (16:56):

A lot of the time, when we get that answer, it gives us permission to slow down. I think we’re always chasing something of like, okay, when we’re 60 this is what I want. But at the end of the day, something could happen tomorrow too. So it’s like, is there a way to get what you want later, now? If you want to be able to spend time with family, yes we can try to build you a business that gives you income in a capacity that you can do that nonstop later. What if now we prioritize, okay, well I’m not going to work past 5:00 PM because then I can actually have my evenings with my family? Or I’m going to do more trips to visit my sister or my brother or my uncle?

Mallory Rowan (17:33):

So looking at: what is that thing you actually want? And then asking yourself those layers deeper, of like, do I actually want that or is it capitalism telling me that I want that?

Tori Dunlap (17:43):

Right, that I should want it. Yeah, totally. But it’s the narrative, especially in the States, we hear that you have not financially made it until you’re a homeowner. And it’s like, for a lot of people that’s a) not accessible, and b) not what they want to do. You have multiple properties. I do not own property.

Tori Dunlap (18:03):

What are you told, versus what do you actually want? I think is very, very, very important. And for people listening, figuring out, again, what sort of narratives or things were you told you’re supposed to want and do you actually want those things?

Mallory Rowan (18:16):

Yeah.

Tori Dunlap (18:16):

And to your point, Mal, is it just sneaky capitalism telling you you should want it?

Mallory Rowan (18:21):

Yeah. And along the way too, we have to learn a lot of this ends up being personal development and boundaries too, because you still have those other narratives from your parents.

Mallory Rowan (18:30):

I remember when I was going to quit that corporate job to do my t-shirt business full-time. I prepped my mom and my sister for months, being like, “Things are going really well. I think this is what I’m thinking about doing.” Even though I could have just gone in and ripped the bandaid off, I knew that they needed that prep so that they would be a little less shocked at my system because it’s not shocking their system. Right?

Tori Dunlap (18:53):

Yeah. I mean, I’ll talk about this on future episodes and I’ve talked about this a bit. When I was about to quit, to run HFK full-time, my parents … very well-intentioned, because they’ve always chosen the stable option … were like, “No, you need your health insurance. You need your benefits. You need your stability. You can’t quit. You need to do everything you can to make this work.” And I was like, “I have. It’s not working anymore. It’s just not working.”

Tori Dunlap (19:18):

I didn’t expect to bring this up, but I think one of the things … of course, you and I have collaborated and now are continuing to collaborate professionally. But also, of course, we’ve been and grown really close as friends. I think one of the interesting things that’s happened is … I mean, you’ve been running businesses longer than I have and you have been established and grown shit.

Tori Dunlap (19:40):

I think, eventually, we got to a place where we were probably at similar levels about following, revenue, that sort of thing. And then you purposefully put the brakes on things, at least in how you were growing. And I know you personally well enough to know … again, all of the things you just talked about … it was really craving more of that rest, more realizing that: do I actually want the things I’m chasing or am I okay just having a six-figure business that pays the bills? And I think the answer for you was yes.

Tori Dunlap (20:11):

So can you talk a bit about your process of realizing: maybe I don’t need to chase all of these things I thought I wanted and it’s actually okay to lessen the ambition that’s pushing you to do things that don’t feel comfortable anymore?

Mallory Rowan (20:28):

Yeah. I think, like I said, with the other thing about that defense mechanism, I find we always think about being defensive with other people when we’re often defensive with ourselves, of being like, “No, I’ve always wanted this thing, and-“

Tori Dunlap (20:40):

Or, “I haven’t made it until I do this thing,” or, “Well, it can keep growing so why would I ask it to stop?” Yeah.

Mallory Rowan (20:46):

Right. So I think that’s a big part that I’ve had to do, just in my own personal development, of being okay with sitting there and peeling it back a bit, and being like, why did I want that thing? And sometimes you even have to mourn that. I remember there was a period where I actually talked to our mutual friend, the angel herself, Alexis.

Tori Dunlap (21:05):

She’s on the podcast, Alexis Rockley. We were all in a mastermind group together. It was peak entrepreneurship for all of us. We would meet, I think, what, once a week for a while there? For a couple months, we would just meet and talk about growing businesses, what our struggles were, how to support each other. It was so good.

Tori Dunlap (21:22):

But yes, Alexis.

Mallory Rowan (21:23):

Yeah. I remember having a sidebar with her because I’m like, it’s so interesting because the way that you were enthusiastic about certain things in your business and what you wanted, I’m like, “Whoa, Tori is a version of me that existed that I am no longer.” It was hard for me because you get those creeping in thoughts of, “Oh shit, well Tori’s posting three times a day on TikTok. Should I?” And then I’m like, “Okay, but you want different things now.”

Tori Dunlap (21:52):

And Mal, if I’m honest with you, I look at what you have and I’m like, “Looks really nice. It looks really nice.”

Mallory Rowan (22:00):

Right. And that’s the thing, there’s no right or wrong. I think we see success as literally like this … I’m trying to use my …

Tori Dunlap (22:09):

Like rocket ship or stratospheric, like it has to …

Mallory Rowan (22:13):

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or literally like a linear graph of whoever’s make making the most is doing the best. And then we put that on ourselves, of like, “Well, I could make more. I could show up more online. I could go that route.” But if it’s not feeling aligned, I think people don’t realize that, that as much as one version of me totally wanted to be the Tony Robbins thing, there’s another part of me that did not want that world, and that part just grew more. And that’s okay.

Mallory Rowan (22:45):

I think realizing too, for me a big realization was that nothing has to be a permanent choice. Because I’m somebody that’s always loved to switch hobbies, bored …

Tori Dunlap (22:56):

Mal, say that again, louder.

Mallory Rowan (22:58):

Nothing has to be a permanent choice.

Tori Dunlap (23:01):

I think that’s such a temptation as we try something, and it’s like we’re committing to something forever and there’s this false narrative that you have to find your passion. It’s like, guys, that’s the whole point of life. I have, now, college grads who reach out to me and they’re like, “What advice do you have?” And I’m like, “My biggest piece of advice for you is, it’s like everybody asking you: what do you want to do with your life?’ That’s not the question. The question is: what do you want to do next? What is the next thing you want to do? Statistically, it’s definitely not going to be your forever thing.”

Tori Dunlap (23:31):

But you figure out: what did I like about that? What did I not like about that? I love what I do now, but who knows, in five, 10 years I could be like, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” or, “I want to pivot
.” It doesn’t-

Mallory Rowan (23:44):

Yeah.

Tori Dunlap (23:44):

Yeah.

Mallory Rowan (23:45):

100%. I think sometimes people go, “Oh shoot, I built this thing and now I don’t want to do it.” That’s exactly what we did with LVD. We grew it to a point and then kind of went, “Oopsies. I don’t really want to make t-shirts and I don’t really want to be in powerlifting anymore.”

Mallory Rowan (23:59):

I was young and we were allowed … I mean, at any point you’re allowed the oopsies. But it was just realizing that moment of like, “Huh.” We were in that phase of being so: what are you going to do for the rest of your life? And you feel like you find it and then one day you wake up and you’re like, “Oh, it actually didn’t. It wasn’t a permanent decision.” And I think that’s a really big piece.

Mallory Rowan (24:20):

And for people who are multi passionate, that was a big learning experience for me because I wanted to dissect people’s brains who found their passion, where they were like, “I’ve always known I wanted to do X.” I’m like, “Tell me everything about that so I can go find my thing that’s around the corner.” And when I just accepted there’s not a thing that’s waiting for me, man, the doors that it opened, because you’re just willing to try different things and to actually listen.

Mallory Rowan (24:45):

I’ve had a lot of knowing … similar how we talked about the growing. I’ve had times where I’m like, “God, I know if I launched this way I will make a lot of money.” But everything in my body is like, “I don’t want to launch that way.” And sometimes you have to challenge yourself and go out of your comfort zone, and then other times it’s okay to go, “You know what? I’ve tried it that way. And yeah, it worked. Did I feel like myself? Did I love it? No. But that’s okay because I can shift and I can find the way to do it that does feel really good.”

Tori Dunlap (25:15):

I think that’s one of my favorite things about having you and Alexis in my life, is she has been forced to slow down, and in a really beautiful way, where I talked to both of you and … I remember there was actually one time, I think Alexis and I were trying to figure out if we were going to relaunch our course we had built together. And I really was like, “We have to launch it during new year, new you time. And she’s like, “Well, I don’t want to do that.”

Tori Dunlap (25:37):

And I was like, “I understand you don’t want to do that because it’s Christmas and whatever, but that’s the time where it’ll sell really well.” And she’s like, “I understand that. I understand. But I don’t really want to do that.” It’s such a beautiful … just like, “That doesn’t feel good to me so I don’t want to do it. Regardless of if it’s going to make me $5,000 more in revenue, I don’t want to do that.”

Tori Dunlap (25:58):

And I think to what you said earlier, I think it’s very easy for us to compare our careers, compare our lives, compare our businesses. I mean, I can link everything back to the patriarchy, it’s like seven degrees to Kevin Bacon. But I think it truly is one of those things where it’s told us that we have to be, especially as women, in competition with each other all the time. So it’s like, “Oh yeah, if Tori’s out there killing it, I also have to kill it.” We are told that there’s one seat at a table. And it’s like, “Okay, if it’s one person doing it this way, then I have to do it that way too.”

Tori Dunlap (26:33):

And I really appreciate that you worked through that and you’re like, “I don’t want to do that.” And I’m at the point in my business too, where I’m like, “Okay, is this actually what I want? I don’t know.”

Mallory Rowan (26:44):

Yeah. And I think it’s good to ask those questions. Always think, “What gets me excited right now? What do I want to learn about? And what do I want to feel?” And then, what do I want to feel? can be a short-term and a long-term. For me, if people are like, “What’s your ten year vision?” I just know how I generally want to feel down the line, you know?

Tori Dunlap (27:03):

That’s how I feel too. People ask me, “What’s your 10 year plan?” And I’m like, “I hope I am happy and making a positive change in people’s lives. That’s it.”

Mallory Rowan (27:10):

Yep, exactly. I hope I wake up smiling. Josh was making fun of me the other day because … you know when you wake up in the morning and you fall back asleep a little? So I’m closing my eyes, sleeping a little, and I’m just smiling. And then Josh was like, “What are you smiling about?” And I was like, “I actually don’t know.” I was just smiling.

Mallory Rowan (27:35):

Yeah. And it was really funny. But it was funny because now I catch myself doing it all the time, and I’m like, “Oh God, that’s just a feeling I want. I want to be smiling even when I’m half awake, falling back asleep, for no actual reason.” Because I was just like, “Hmm, this is nice.”

Tori Dunlap (27:50):

I love that. That makes me so happy.

Tori Dunlap (27:55):

I am so excited to share more of this episode with you. This is just part one. We have some more amazing topics, like real estate and specifically Canadian finances. But unfortunately you’re going to have to wait a little bit longer for those. We’ll be releasing more from this conversation over the next few months. She just, as always, drops so much value.

Tori Dunlap (28:13):

If you loved hearing from Mal, please make sure to follow us on Instagram, @herfirst100k, as she’ll be regularly joining us over at HFK. And we’ve also linked all the places you can follow Mal and her business in the show notes. We are so thrilled that Mallory is becoming part of the team at HFK and I cannot wait for you to see what she’s bringing to the table.

Tori Dunlap (28:30):

We will be back on Tuesday next week with your regularly scheduled guest episode. So please make sure to subscribe, rate, review us, share this podcast with your friends and family and on social media. Help spread the mission of financial feminism, it means more than you know. Have a lovely weekend, financial feminists. We’ll talk to you soon.

Tori Dunlap (28:44):

Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First $100K podcast. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap. Produced by Kristen Fields. Marketing and administration by Karina Patel, Olivia Coning, Charise Wade, Alina Hallser, Paulina Isaac, Sophia Cohen, Valerie Eresco, Jack Coning, and Anna Alexandra. Research by Ariel Johnson. Audio engineering by Austin Fields. Promotional graphics by Mary Stratton. Photography by Sarah Wolfe. And theme music by Jonah Cohen Sound. A huge thanks to the entire Her First $100K team and community for supporting the show.

Tori Dunlap (29:22):

For more information about Financial Feminist, Her First $100K, our guests, and episode show notes, visit financialfeministpodcast.com.

Tori Dunlap

Tori Dunlap is an internationally-recognized money and career expert. After saving $100,000 at age 25, Tori quit her corporate job in marketing and founded Her First $100K to fight financial inequality by giving women actionable resources to better their money. She has helped over one million women negotiate salary, pay off debt, build savings, and invest.

Tori’s work has been featured on Good Morning America, the New York Times, BBC, TIME, PEOPLE, CNN, New York Magazine, Forbes, CNBC, BuzzFeed, and more.

With a dedicated following of almost 250,000 on Instagram and more than 1.6 million on TikTok —and multiple instances of her story going viral—Tori’s unique take on financial advice has made her the go-to voice for ambitious millennial women. CNBC called Tori “the voice of financial confidence for women.”

An honors graduate of the University of Portland, Tori currently lives in Seattle, where she enjoys eating fried chicken, going to barre classes, and attempting to naturally work John Mulaney bits into conversation.

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